Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Let's Learn Japanese: Jouzu ni Yakemashita!

Jouzu ni yakemashita!
Skillfully cooked!

As my blog's friendly sidebar has been silently informing you over the past couple weeks, I've been playing Monster Hunter Portable whenever I find myself in a PSP situation. PSP situations are many; they include long train rides, students not showing up for their lessons and Girlfriend's recent endeavors to watch all six seasons of Sex and the City on DVD. With all these PSP situations, I'm fortunate to have one of the most time-consuming games in the universe at my disposal.

This edition of Capcom's hunting-and-gathering-centric Monster Hunter series, while pocket-sized, is packed with loads of Japanese text for me to struggle with. So much, in fact, that I was motivated to buy the 700-page Monster Hunter Portable Official Guidebook in order to help me make sense of all the "kelbi horns" and "water wyvern gizzards." Since this game's maps, stats and lists fill a book more voluminous than the Bible, I recommend all practicing Catholics, Protestants and Orthodox Christians to consider immediate conversion to Monsterhunteropalianism.

Come on, squares. Our religion lets you kill dinosaurs and use their remains to synthesize medicinal goods. Yours doesn't even acknowledge the existence of dinosaurs.

By the way, "Jouzu ni yakemashita!" is the cheer heard in the game when the player successfully barbecues a chunk of meat to the point of being kongari (golden brown). In real life I'm lucky if I don't burn spaghetti, but in Monster Hunter I'm the Iron damn Chef.

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