Friday, January 16, 2009

Monkey Pile on Joe

What did you think would happen, "Joe?" You say stupid stuff, you get dumped on. Now it's Rick Sanchez's turn.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Plumber the Reporter

I take offense when Americans who suffer from a chronic case of "I don't know what the hell I'm talking about" syndrome (IDKWTHITAS) find ways to perpetuate the popular image of the Stupid American abroad.

Chromedomed idiot Samuel "Joe the Plumber" Wurzelbacher, who became famous for no particular reason during the 2008 presidential race, has no experience as a war correspondent, no experience as a reporter, no experience as a journalist and, judging from turns of phrase such as "I don't think journalists should be anywhere allowed war," not very much experience speaking English.

Yet, for some reason, he's been sent to Israel as a "war correspondent" by conservative opinion website PajamasTV:

"Joe" says, in the above clip, that he "liked back in World War I and World War II, when you'd go to the threater and you'd see your troops on the screen." For someone who went to the threater during World War I, this "Joe" is incredibly well-preserved.

I'm also wondering if maybe his new bosses at PajamasTV couldn't have informed their new correspondent a little more thoroughly before sending him overseas. In this excerpt from a conversation between Wurzelbacher and an Israeli reporter, he attempts to create journalistic drama by manufacturing a "disagreement" (WARNING: This failed attempt at "gotcha!" reporting may cause confusion, dizziness and nausea):

JOE: The story here is people are being killed and the media's slanting it and trying to make it Hamas is, uh, as far as, that Israel's being bad. Do you believe Israel is bad?

REPORTER: Do I believe it?

JOE: Yeah, do you?!

REPORTER: I'm Israeli, so...

JOE: So answer the question!

REPORTER: No, I don't think Israel is bad.

JOE: Do you think Israel has every right to protect itself?

REPORTER: Yeah.

[pause]

JOE: You do?!

REPORTER: Yeah.

JOE: Have you said that on air?

REPORTER: I'm just a reporter.

Plumber, get out of the reporter's way before a rocket falls on your head. Your every action since last October has been designed for one purpose only: To get attention. What other explanation can their be for someone becoming a war correspondent and then using their airtime to decry the existence of war correspondents? Oh wait, there is another explanation. YOU'RE A PLUMBER.