Saturday, November 21, 2015

MOS: Busted

Oh my god, it's Technocop. This awful game for the Sega Genesis (Megadrive) was an uninspired mix of Roadblasters and Elevator Action (minus the elevators, plus a gun that causes every enemy to disintegrate into a disgusting mess on the floor). It was pretty forgettable, but the title screen, with its inept use of perspective and its duckfacing, cross-eyed hero, really stayed with me. On top of that, keep in mind the audio that accompanied this screen:

Technocop! [Blam, blam, blam] Busted. [Cue theme music that sounds like a robot with diarrhea]

You might be wondering why it's called Technocop. Is he a cyborg? Does he listen to Messiah or maybe Lords of Acid while he callously blows suspects away with his ridiculous firearm? Nope, he just has an arm-puter:

This futuristic bit of techno-tech reveals to us that the perp is a 23-year-old construction worker named...Dah Butch? Dan Butch? Dam Butch? Who cares, details, details. Point is, he's massive (clocking in at a mighty 230 mass) and should be considered dangerous.

I'd also like to point out that someone living in this squalid tenement seems to think that Dance Dance Revolution rules.

Technocop was absolute garbage.

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