SCIENCE!

Asahara Shoko, leader of the Aum Shinrikyo cult (and coordinator of the 1995 sarin gas attack on Tokyo's Hibiya, Marunouchi and Chiyoda subway lines) lost his final appeal against a death sentence this week.

This event provides us a convenient opportunity to appreciate the superiority of science over religion. Why waste your days in a dead-end cult or stupid, stupid church when you could be splitting beer atoms or genetically engineering spider-gremlins? I believe that, within my lifetime, science will bless us with at least three of the five following amenities:

1) Bread that gets you drunk

2) An elevator that gains speed with each press of the call button

3) Convincing sex robots that don't go berserk and kill their owners (am I right, people?)

4) Self-neutering dogs

5) A dessert topping that is also a floor wax

Technorati: Aum Shinrikyo, death penalty, sex robots