Tuesday, September 05, 2006

My Judgement Cometh

And that right soon.

I had a nice week-long vacation in Wisconsin and Minnesota, but as soon as it was over there was business to be taken care of in Tokyo. Specifically, the business of me buying Guilty Gear Judgement for the PSP, the newest embodiment of what is probably the most stylish fighting game franchise in history. I would reserve such praise for the Shibuya-looking girls and boys of the King of Fighters series if it weren't for the fact that Guilty Gear blows any and all competition out of the water on the basis of its heavy metal soundtrack alone.

Even without the epic "I Whupped Joe Satriani's Ass" soundtrack, Guilty Gear enjoys the advantage of a too-cool cast of characters, most of whom would deserve their own Portrait of a Badass if I hadn't made the rule that only film characters would be so honored. How cool are the Guilty Gear characters? Cool enough that, if you were to show up at Otacon dressed as one of them, God would express his ultimate disdain for your charlatanism by giving you a new nipple in the middle of your left cheek, you nerd.

Now the people who see me sitting on the train with my PSP are likely to notice a stiff, awkward look on my face; this is the look of a severely jet-lagged man who wants to air guitar and headbang to the VS. Screen music but can't because it's not socially acceptable to act like the superintendent of the Rock and Roll High School district on the train in Tokyo.

Guilty Gear Judgement includes, in addition to its side-scrolling beat-em-up main attraction, a solid port of Guilty Gear XX Slash, complete with its new final boss Order Sol, who is a super-cheap addition to the lineup (already formidable thanks to the also super-cheap boss version of I-No, the dirty-talking rock-and-roll witch). To my most excellent delight, the game also came with a free UMD video called Guilty Gear Fragment. I haven't watched it yet, but hey. Free video.

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