Friday, June 10, 2005

Honyaku Friday

This week's sensational, translational offering comes in the form of a review of The Karate Kid I wrote for the Internet Movie Database in June 2003.


This movie is a guilty pleasure for me, because my brain recognizes how silly it is, but I always come back and watch it again. Any movie, let alone a trilogy, which takes an irritating, unlikeable whiner and makes him the heroic protagonist deserves some respect, at least for overcoming the hurdles associated with making an unlikeable character likeable. See also, Star Wars.

Ralph Macchio explodes onto the screen as Daniel Larusso, the aformentioned whiner. The kid gets into fist fights over boomboxes, steals a guy's girlfriend, hoses the guy down at the school dance, and blames the subsequent problems on his "stupid bike." He is, for lack of a better word, a bonehead. Who wouldn't love this crazy all-American teen?

Then Pat Morita steps in to give Daniel some much-needed direction. His attempts to help are greeted with more and more whining. But through months of zen floorwax training, Daniel-san becomes the grandmaster of Miyagido Karate and proves once and for all that violence really is the answer.

Unfortunately, this is one of those movies that contributes to the general American non-understanding of Asian cultures, with its stereotypically eccentric Mr. Miyagi, but Kreese (the EVIL karate instructor!) is equally eccentric, so I guess I forgive the filmmakers for that.

A word on this movie's soundtrack: Gnarly! During the beach party sequence, we are treated to a rapidfire trio of obscure 80s pop tunes (possibly "fake songs," written especially for the movie, but I'm not sure about that). And during the tournament scene, you'll be dancing like a dork to the motivational hit "You're the Best Around (No One's Ever Gonna Keep You Down)!" or whatever that song's called, I don't know.

FUN FACT: I used to have this movie on VHS. I copied it from my local video store. But the movie is more than two hours long, and I used SP speed to tape right after Kreese says, "sweep the leg," and Daniel's knee is apparently crushed, the tape ends, with Daniel crumpled on the floor in a heap, gasping for life. It's GREAT.

Double-Translated Results from Yahoo Honyaku:

Because it recognizes so method stupidity, this movie is guilty joy for me, but I always come back, and my brain watches it again. I take an unfavorable sobbing person to irritate not to speak of a trilogy to overcome a hurdle related to it being liked an unfavorable person at least, and even what kind of movie doing him to the leading role of a hero deserves some respect. In addition, please look, and it is the star wars.

As Daniel Larusso (a sobbing person done aformentioned of), I pass on screen, and Ralph Macchio fires up. A child begins a fist fight on boomboxes, and steal a girl friend of a person, and wash a person with a hose by a school dance and a problem of result of him "blame a stupid bicycle". Because there is not a better word, He is a stupid person. Anyone this, indeed, do not love U.S.A. teen?

Then Pat Morita enters to give Daniel some courses needed very much. His trial to help with is accepted by groaning more and more. Through zen floorwax training to extend in how many months, Daniel-san becomes a grand master of Miyagido Karate, and I am limited really this time, and the violence is and an answer to prove that I say.

Unfortunately this is our nothing of those movies contributing to strange Mr. who is the stereotypically Miyagi and general American fault knowledge of Asian culture, but Kreese (instructor EVIL karate!) is wind strange so I who spread it think that I forgive it of a movie producer.

A word on a sound track of this movie: twisted! Between beach party sequences, we are treated to a rapidfire trio of pop music (perhaps) I who am written for "a false song" (movie in particular am not reliable about it) of 80's that does not become clear. And, between tournament scenes, you dance like a penis for a stimulating hit "you are best Around" (there is not it in Ever Gonna Keep You Down of One)! I do not know that or the song visited so the thing in anything.

A pleasant fact: I had this movie on VHS. I copied it from my local video shop. However, movies are more than 2 long time, and I warp. After Kreese, - saying please just "grow a foot" and I use SP speed to record tape, and thus a knee of Daniel is crushed clearly. And, with Daniel whom a tape edge becomes a lump, and is smashed on a floor, I yearn for life. It is big.

Addendum: June 10, 2005
I just watched
The Karate Kid again for the first time since writing that review, and noticed an inaccuracy. The part where my copy of the movie unexpectedly terminated was right after Johnny drops an elbow to Daniel's knee, right before Daniel's winning crane-kick to the face (not the famous "sweep the leg" part). I shudder to think of the suffering and injustice that must have resulted from my review's glaring inaccuracy, and can only pray for forgiveness. Furthermore, I realize that the caption, "Best block, no be there" is actually a reference to The Karate Kid II. But my favorite line from this movie, Kreese's "You're a pushy little bastard ain't ya? But I like that!" was too long to use as a caption to such a small image.

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