Hugs & Kisses All the Way to Wisconsin

When people ask where I'm from, I now think twice about what to say. Not because I ashamed of my hometown. Not because I'm embarrassed by people's reaction. Only because I am sick of saying, "Yes, as in B'Gosh."

Oshkosh, WI is a city in the "Fox River Valley" (although the entire state of Wisconsin is arguably one big river valley) with a population of about 63,000 people. Its claims to fame are but two: 1) The Experimental Aircraft Association's annual convention, which most people have never heard of; and 2) OshKosh B'Gosh Inc., maker of family apparel. This provokes people to refer to me as Jesse from OshKosh B'Gosh, which is one of the worst nicknames in the world.

It could be worse. I could be from Detroit, prompting reactions like, "So, have you ever met Robocop?" Or I could be from Tallahassee, prompting reactions like, "So, are you of lower-than-average intelligence?" But the B'Gosh thing wears thin, and I need a change. That's why I entreat OshKosh B'Gosh to change its name. My nominees for the new name include:

• OshKosh For the Love of Christ
• OshKosh Goddammit
• OshKosh Dontcha Know?
• OshKosh You Jerk