Thursday, April 24, 2008

Mario Kart Wii Makes You Curse

When I was 16, MK stood for Mortal Kombat. Those days are gone.

Mario Kart Wii is an excellent example of Nintendo's recent success in the "social gaming" market. It's an easy-to-learn party title, playable by up to four people at a time via split-screen and accessible to gamers of pretty much any age.

If only I could play it without cursing.

What new players would interpret as accessibility, more skilled players might recognize as Mario Kart Wii's excessive desire to achieve parity; the game does its best to help the guy in last position...and dump retribution on the guy in first. You can imagine the frustration this causes. You're in the lead, trashing the competition, ready to win, when suddenly, you get struck by lightning, rear-ended by a heat-seaking turtle shell and flattened by someone who just picked up the "mega mushroom." Try not to swear at a time like that!

Because of this, Fiancee and I have been known to yell obscenities during this "fun" game. Fiancee has even shown an aptitude for making up her own expletive phrases. Among her finest creations:

"Oh my shit!"

"Shitty pants!"

And my personal favorite to date:

"Shit kebab!"

Parents, if you don't want your kids talking like this (when they're 30), don't ever let them play video games.

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