Friday, August 12, 2005

I Still Don't Give a Good God Damn What You Did Last Summer

This week's Thursday Night TV Movie was I Still Know What You Did Last Summer, (working title: I Still Think the Moviegoing Public Will Pay Money to See Garbage Like This Because They Don't Know Any Better). I cannot count the number of times I said the word "ridiculous" out loud as I (inexplicably) watched the entire thing. The movie throws away one opportunity after another to save itself from demise. Most noteably, consider Jack Black, who lends his genius to this doomed film as a dreadlocked drug dealer. Every time Jack Black popped up, I was cheering, "Yeah! School of Rock, baby!" Then the movie's hook-handed antagonist killed him. Even worse, they passed up the chance to make some kind of joke about him being "hooked on drugs" or something. UNACCEPTABLE.

I don't know why I watched the movie at all. I've never even seen the first one, not that a little detail like that would have any effect on my appreciation for the second. Honestly, I can't think of a single reason.


carey said...

Jennifer Love Hewitt is GROSS!! Her brother installed a special sensor in her car for her because she has absolutely no depth perception, so it beeps when she gets too close to things. And there is no reason why she should have played Audrey Hepburn, except maybe that JLH stopped eating in 1998. I thought you had better taste, Jesse!!

Jesse Jace said...

Wow, I knew she had no depth. But no depth perception, this is news to me. And I am totally uninformed about her playing Audrey Hepburn, which is amazing, considering how much Japan loves all things Audrey.